It's Been a While...
It's been a while ... not since my last cup of coffee though. That is a daily treat not to be missed and with all the beauty surrounding me in Cape Town and all the gorgeous choices to enjoy a cup - leaves me spoiled.
As you know I have shared my feelings about moving to start my life over again. We were liquidated as we signed personal surety on all our assets and a large sum of money owed to us by a customer was never settled. We lost it all. In the process of losing all our assets, we lost some friends too and of course our minds. But in this process we were given a brand new baby girl Kiara who has brought us endless joy and lifted our spirits. I thank God for this gift as it truly was a blessing.
I started this Blog to help share my experience and to show you that things could be worse... just some of the emotions and some of the turbulent times you go through and I hope to share some valuable advice and knowledge that I have learned going through this.. it can only make you stronger.
The last year was a strain but ending on a high note making another move out of the house of chaos.. Besides the strain of the liquidation placing me in an extremely volatile and emotional state was the fact that I rented a home from Satan or one of his reincarnates. Astonishing as it may seem, things could not get worse? Or could they? Oh yes they did.
Living in a home that was not maintained and with a Landlord that was nasty to say the least left a an even bigger hole in my heart.. I was hoping to enjoy the first years in Cape Town in the home we rented just to try and start at a new life but of course this was not to be. Rising damp, unusable plugs, appliances and no security and much more left us having to deal with more stress at a time where we were really suffering. Kids in a new school in a new province and a baby with constant calls and emails to deal with from disgruntled creditors left us depleted and down. I just could not cope with dealing with someone who was just mean and unapproachable. Our two year lease became a one year fight and struggle leaving before the contract was up. I suffered an emotional breakdown and was unable to function. I literally dreaded him coming to the house and was never at ease being there in case he may show up. I could not answer my cellphone or my email or even go out the house at times because I was worried of bumping into the Liquidator. I seriously contemplated my way out of this world because of all the emotional turmoil I went through and now actually understand how a person just cannot live any longer with the pain and suffering - the pain is real and it sets in and takes over and almost nothing can pull you out of it at times.
What I did learn from this trying situation though is that you should never treat someone else with ill repute or be judgmental towards another person - whatever the situation or whatever the circumstances are. Never make assumptions and try to never tackle someone with prejudice because you never know what they might have been through. You may just be contributing to their suffering and some times it may just be too late for them to get help. Life is too short and precious to risk hurting another heart in the way that I thought mine could never recover.
Sometimes I just want to send this man a message but it's not worth it. I don't think he will ever understand what he actually did to me. The only option is to just go on with life and start new.. again. Unbelievably you will see that you are not alone, so many people have been through a similar situation. There is always something worse that could happen of course. And the good news is that this situation will not last forever. Never forget that.. and you will also learn who your true friends are. The ones that stick through with you no matter what.. and I can count them on my one hand. But like my family they are there to stay.
Another move to a safe place where every day is a new adventure I can start the process again. Many of you will know what I mean or you may know of someone who feels the way I described... and if not I truly hope you never will feel that way because it consumes your soul with sadness. None the less, I have 3 beautiful children and my parents have moved to Cape Town too and without them I don't know what would have happened to me as they supported me and lifted me up each and every day in a number of ways and for that I will forever be greatful.
